I get asked quite often how I am doing. Seems like an appropriate question to somebody in my condition. Most of the time my response is a simple, “Fine,” or “Alright.” I have never been one to up and spill my troubles so casually. I’ll give status reports and summaries of doctor’s appointments, and sure, if pressed, I will probably go a little deeper. But to tell you truly how I am feeling would take a Herculean effort to get it out of me.
I am afraid. I am truly and deeply scared. I am afraid I am going to leave my wife without a husband, my kids without their father. I am afraid that I won’t be able to hug and kiss them and gaze into their beautiful faces. I am afraid that there is going to be so much life left to live by my loved ones and that I will never get to be a part of. I am afraid that the pain my body is feeling indicates that the tumors are growing. I am afraid that this cancer is going to overcome this body no matter how hard I fight it. I am afraid of the pain and suffering of loved ones caused by my death.
I accept that I will die someday. Just not so soon. Please, not just yet.
Josh,
ReplyDeleteI have experienced it all to well (more from your wife's perspective - but I know it none the less. I am still available for errands and (if needed) a drive to houston should be of help to you.
I offer nothing by way of words for comfort, for i know that there are no words that do that. I have been and will continue to stand with you in this fight! I off to you my presence and my prayers.
You are loved,
Robert
rsedaker@hotmail.com
972-922-6299
BTW, Did you watch the bernie siegle dvd?
Thanks for your continued support Rob. I have not watched the dvd yet but have it high on my list of things to do.
ReplyDelete