Monday, May 24, 2010

Relationships

It is Monday evening and I am finally alone. Time for a little down time and to reflect on the whirlwind of activity that took place over the past couple of days. I am coming off the tail end of a weekend mini-vacation that included 2.5 days and 2 nights with 14 other family members. This included 2 brothers (one of which I have not seen for 3 years) and some form of representation from their immediate families, parents, my immediate family, my in-laws, our foreign exchange student from Germany and two dogs. We treked down to Galveston to spend 2 days on the beach and some quality bonding time. I know, it sounds like it has all the ingredients for a great plot for a movie. I can just see it. Let's take 15 family members and send them on vacation together, make them bunk together in 3 condo units, eat all the meals together, and give them lots of time to talk and mix it up. Let the dysfunctional hilarities begin!  But it actually went quite well. Sure, trying to get 15 people to all move in a common direction can sometimes be akin to hearding cats, but all in all I think everybody had a really good time. I know I did.

That brings me to my topic for this entry: relationships. Those of you who have been following this blog from the beginning may remember that I wrote about this topic very early on, but I coming off the weekend I just had I felt the need to write about it again. Relationships are so important. Family is so important. I wouldn't trade anything for the memories that I just made down in Galveston. I truly love all those people and that just makes life all that much sweeter, all that much fuller.

I realize that this sounds cliche, and I am not just saying it because I have stage 4 cancer, but life is just too short to let issues come between you and the people you love. For some reason or another, everybody seems to like me. I am not bragging. I am just stating something that I have observed over the span of my life. I really don't have any rifts between me and any family members that I know of. If I am wrong on that then please call me up. I think part of the reason is that because I don't like it when people are mad at me; I will put forth the effort to correct the situation. I am not saying that I will give up an arguement and say I am wrong when I am not. However, I will work with the person and try to get past whatever is causing the friction. And I think that is the key - the desire and the willingness to work at correcting a problem. The relationship is the most important thing here. However, nothing can happen until the communication channels are opened up and somebody has to make that first move. Families are messy and sometimes the rifts seem insurmountable. But again, life is too short, and nothing is impossible. If I didn't believe that then I might as well stop taking the chemo right now. But then I would miss out on all the great family memories that are yet to come and that is something I am not willing to do.

Whatever the reasons that are keeping you from calling that person in your life that you just can't see eye to eye with, try to work through them. Open the channels of communication. I would like to say that to a couple of people I know, but I am not going to call them out publicly . Hopefully, they are so moved by my eloquent writing and in-your-face honesty about such an important topic, that they will feel so compelled to pick up the phone and call that estranged family member. Imagine all the great family memories you could be creating.

2 comments:

  1. now there is a trump card and well taken. love you son

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  2. Josh...as I mentioned in my earlier note, you served this role on our basketball team and were a big reason why we were so cohesive and close like brothers. Glad to see you have been the "peacemaker" over the years. There seems to be too few of people with your mindset these days, and thanks for pouring it all out for all of us. Hang tough, my friend! We're all in your court!
    TOMMY

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