I was reading
my brother's latest blog post and once again find it interesting to hear others talk about my situation. It is interesting to hear his take on what I am going through and I am flattered to hear how brave he thinks I am being. His entry made me think back to when I was sitting in the appointment room as we met with the MD Anderson doc for the first time. The doc went over my options with me and I distinctly remember option #4. He said that if I felt like I didn't want to start chemo or if, after receiving chemo, it all becomes too much for me to handle, then he can put me in a hospice situation and make me as comfortable as I can be. I immediately dismissed that one and haven't thought about it again. Who would give up? My brother states:
He's having the equivalent of the Somme thrown at his body with 4 more waves to come. And I wonder, how many of us would be brave enough to make that exchange.....
(By the way, I had to Google Somme to find out what he meant.) I'll admit that having experienced it twice so far, I do not look forward to chemo. The seven days after are no walk in the park. However, quitting is not an option. I won't even go down that road. To quit would mean certain death. Let me say it again: NOT AN OPTION. But I have not thought of myself as brave in this situation. I am simply doing what I need to do to give myself the best chance of living. Who wouldn't do that? It seems like a natural response.
Thanks bro for thinking I'm brave.
Josh,
ReplyDeleteIt's not only your brother who thinks you're brave! You have a following, my friend, and we're all cheering you on, quietly maybe, but everytime I see you in the yard or walking around the neighborhood, my heart lightens just a little to know you're fighting and it keeps the hope alive that one day I won't see you and think "oh, thank goodness, he's still hanging in there and doing pretty well", but instead I can wave, say hello as normal and not think another thing of it. What I really wanted to tell you though, is thank you. It probably hasn't occurred to you, but the kids know much more than we give them credit for, and Riley's comments on how tough you are to be working in your yard the way you have and even still working some have unwittingly taught her a very valuable lesson about how we respond to the things we encounter in life. I can't imagine the personal struggle for you and the family (I'm sure this blog is really just the tip of the iceberg), but the outward manifestation of what you're going through and how you're handling it is truly awesome. God bless you and Anna, Ethan and Katelyn! And thank you for the example you're setting in every way, from the honesty of your emotions and thoughts in your blog to your physical commitment to keep up with as much of life as possible. GIVING UP IS NOT AN OPTION! I couldn't agree more!!! Keep going!
If it's coming from me, you can trust it ain't flattery but the truth as I see it.
ReplyDelete