Unconditional love tested

Why couldn’t it have been drugs? An addiction to cocaine isn’t that bad, right? Or how about crime? Or better yet, crime to support his drug habit. Then there is teenage pregnancy, an attractive alternative. At the very least, how about a complete and utter disrespect for his elders, bad grades, and the mouth of a sailor? There are so many ways for a child to rebel with varying degrees of “badness.” Why did my son have to pick such an extreme form of rebellion? I have to admit it caught me completely off guard. I should have seen the signs. Nonetheless the deed has been done. The crime has been committed. What is this heinous form of rebellion, you ask. What could be so horrible that it would test the very limits of my love for one of my offspring?
He bought an Ohio State Buckeyes t-shirt. Et tu, Brute? Could I get a little help with this knife in my back?

I am a huge University of Michigan Wolverine fan. And to somebody like me Ohio State is the enemy. They are, in fact, more than the enemy. They are the Voldermort to Harry Potter. Lex Luther to Superman. They are the Darth Vader to Luke Skywalker (before he learned he was his dad). There is enough bad blood between these two to make the oceans turn red. The rivalry is so intense that when they play in their annual football game it is simply referred to as “The Game.” So for my son to actually willingly and enthusiastically don a shirt from this atrocious institution represents the ultimate form of rebellion.

Maybe in hindsight I can now pinpoint various events or trends that led up to this tragic moment: the love of all sports, the memorizing of all the Division One athletic mascots, the absolute devotion to the acronym ESPN. I should also mention that along with the school-which-shall-not-be-named he bought shirts from the following schools; University of Florida, Notre Dame (there goes another knife, not quite so big, maybe a pocket knife, but a knife all the same) University of North Carolina, Texas Christian University, and Louisiana State University. He seems to love all things sports related and collecting shirts is the newest expression of that passion. But why Ohio State? Is nothing sacred? He is testing the bounds of my “unconditional love.”

I guess I can still take a little solace that while he may now own one Ohio State t-shirt, thanks to me and his Grammy, he has in the neighborhood of six University of Michigan t-shirts. He would have more but he has either outgrown them or worn them out. His last two jackets that he wears almost everywhere (even in the Texas summer heat) are, you guessed it, Michigan. So maybe there is hope yet. Maybe this is just a phase.