My wife comes home every day from work and asks how I am doing. When my response isn't what she thought it would be, she states something like, "But last time this and this happened by so and so."
The one thing that I have learned from my post-noma life is that there is no normal anymore. For a large part I don't feel like I am in control of much anymore. Work is different. Relationships are different. The noma has hijacked my life and I am just a spectator watching from the sidelines as, what used to be my life, passes by. It is probably as close to an out-of-body experience that I have come. I feel a strange disconnect with all that used to be normal in my life. Maybe this is my rabbit hole. My children are there in front of me and I know that I love them, but still feel distant from them. As a matter of fact, I feel more of a connection with the images I see in old photographs of them than I do with the present day flesh and blood that I am interacting with. It is almost as if the "healing medicine" coursing through me has messed with my wires and the way I function on a basic level.
I am hoping this is all just a bit of the fog lingering, but I can't help but feel that it has slowly building since the first round. I feel that I am slowly losing myself. With each round the wave comes a little farther up leaving a little more oily residue behind and a little less pristine beach. Just hope it isn't permanent and that my wiring will sort itself out with sufficient time after the last round.
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